Describe Yourself in Three Words - Explanation with Examples

by Jake La Botz

A hitchhiking ghost.

The hitchhiking part: I catch rides with other people’s lives (not spooky hitchhiking ghost like campfire stories, etc.). Currently traveling with a wife and daughter.

The ghost part: Not a “formerly living person.” At least I don’t think so. Was probably always a ghost.

Examples:

“Did you get the organic broccoli like I asked?”

Yes.

“Did you ask the daycare lady about her missing shoe?”

Yes.

“Come to bed now.”

Ok.

“Don’t you want something for your birthday?”

Never.

If you’re wondering how this works, (i.e., if you don’t know any ghosts personally), people like to be around us. They sense we’re magic—like superhumanly talented, can pull off great tricks, or can see into the future. We’re not and we can’t. It’s just that we don’t pretend this life is going anywhere. Which, as you can imagine, leaves plenty of room to meet a given moment—as is.

All this to say, I am (IMHO) the perfect candidate for your entry-level position(s).

To sum up: I stay out of the way, ask for nothing, pay attention, enjoy travel, AND people like me = hassle-free task-accomplisher.

Unfortunately, not free holidays (esp. Halloween). Available all other days/hours.

BIO: Jake La Botz's fiction has appeared or is forthcoming in Mikrokosmos/Mojo Journal, The Razor, and NUNUM. His music and acting have been featured in film and television, including True Detective, Ghost World, Rambo (yes, Rambo). His debut collection of short fiction is forthcoming from the University of Wisconsin's Cornerstone Press. More at www.jakelabotz.com